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The Newlywed Game

So if you are my age or have the Game Show Network you might be familiar with the show, The Newlywed Game. The concept was to give recently married couples a series of questions about each other. The more correct answers, the more points and if you had the most points you win the game and get a prize. This was usually a vacation package (if I remember correctly). Of course, it was filled with double entendre and couples hitting each other with answer boards when they got the answers wrong.

Recently I had two couples that checked in on their honeymoons.  I will leave it to you to decide who would have won the Newlywed Game had they been on it and who you think had the best chance to actually leave Las Vegas still married.


Couple # 1 – Booked direct with the hotel, booked a mid level suite and parents came in the day before and paid for the room and security deposit. We have noted on the reservation that it is the couple’s honeymoon. Oh, they also booked 2 months in advance.

The Check -in:

A couple approaches the registration desk. They are dressed fairly casual. They are smiling and giggling at each other.

Me: Welcome to Vegas Hotel. Checking in?

Wife: Yes.

Me: Ok, I will need a credit card and your ID.  (they pass their ID) Oh, I see you are here on your honeymoon. Congratulations to you both. I have you booked into a junior suite and everything is paid for so we can get you right into your room. I am sure you have had a crazy day.

Wife: Oh it was so much fun. We got married by Elvis. We didn’t want anything fancy we just wanted to make the whole thing relaxed and have our friends with us. Tonight we are going to see LOVE! I have never been to Vegas and it is so exciting.

Husband: If I could ask, do you have any upgrades available? If not, it’s fine.

Me: Well I do have a suite with a Jacuzzi available but it would be a $40 upgrade each night.

Husband: What do you think, honey?

Wife: That would be so cool, as long as you think we can afford it.

Me: Give me a second to talk to my manager….  Ok, my manager told me to tell you congratulations and he will waive the upgrade fee for one of the nights so you can have both nights for $40.

Wife: Wow, that is so great. Thank you. We will take it.

Me: You are very welcome. Let me get our bellman to help you with your bags and you can start your honeymoon. If you need anything else, just let me know.

Husband: Thanks, man. I appreciate this.

Me: That’s what we do.


Couple #2, booked a week ago through a third party. Booked a standard room. No notification of any special requests or celebration. They are dressed very well.

Husband:  Yeah so, we just got married. What do we get?

Me: Do you have a reservation, sir?

Husband: Yes. (drops his ID and credit card on the counter)

Wife: We got married at the Chapel of the Flowers and we had all these roses…

Husband: He doesn’t want to hear about the wedding, just shut it. I got this.

Me: (to wife) sounds very pretty and congratulations to you.

Husband: Yeah so what do we get, champagne, free meal, an upgrade right?

Me: Well, sir I would be happy to get you a room with a nice view but the only suites we have would be an upcharge.

Husband: Everyone gets something in Vegas. We just got married, dude. Don’t be an asshole.

Wife: Baby, he is just doing his job.

Husband: Did I say I was handling this? Now about the room?

Me: Sir, as I was saying. I would be happy to get you a suite but it will be $40 for a jr suite or $80 for a Jacuzzi suite.

Husband: Listen, I am going to gamble so much that everything is getting comped anyway.

Me: and you can discuss that with a host at the end of your stay but right now that is the cost. I can give you a high floor with a view complimentary of the hotel.

Wife: Baby, lets just pay for the junior. I would be happy with that. I am tired and just want any room.

Husband: No, this desk jockey ain’t hearing what I am saying.

Me: Sir, I do understand but I am telling you what is available tonight for your stay. Now, I also understand you have different expectations but we just can’t meet that tonight. Would you like to upgrade?

Husband: Manager. NOW!

(so the manager talks to the guy. He gets a $20 food credit just to shut him up and he doesn’t get the upgrade… I was going to screw him on the view but I felt bad for his wife.)

Me: Would you like help with your bags?

Husband: and give this place more of my money. Screw that. You already made us late for our dinner.

(he storms off with the keys, she is almost in tears. Oh, and she is dragging the big suitcase trying to catch up with him. I imagine that their dinner was probably at a Denny’s and he would be bitching at the waitress about the quality of his pancakes in the Grand Slam special.)


Thanks for following my blog family. I appreciate you all. I still can’t believe the number of people that read this stuff.  Follow me on Twitter for my musings that aren’t big enough for a blog at @VegasHC

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